Don’t let Imposter Syndrome run you over

Here are 4 ways to push back:

Reach out for support

Shame and insecurity can keep our thoughts of inadequacy shrouded in silence. Having the humility to reach out to others and share our vulnerability can provide instant relief. It also opens up a channel to brainstorm solutions, since others may be able to offer us strategies or helpful mindset shifts to use when we’re particularly overwhelmed. Even externally processing scenarios with a coach can help you to see things a different way.

Many women who struggle with imposter syndrome don’t recognise how common it is – especially when we have high career aspirations which will inevitably put us into increasingly challenging situations. Feeling out of our depth really is par for the course.

Accepting the inevitability of discomfort is part of having a growth mindset. However, our brains are wired to be happier when we operate from the challenge/approach system, rather than defence and protect. So, view imposter syndrome as a problem to solve and get proactive. Courageously seek guidance and voluntarily open yourself up to new input. Don’t suffer alone. Peer networking, coaching, mentoring or a solid role model are all good external sources of help.

Celebrate your wins and strengths

What went well? Many of us have a total blind spot for our own strengths because we assume what is easy for us is easy for everyone. Strengths coaching is a development from positive psychology which posits that it’s far more efficient to identify our greatest strengths and develop them, than to prioritise work on weaknesses, where you may only average out your deficit.

Spend time in areas where you naturally excel and find hacks to bring your strengths to more scenarios. Notice what you find easy and do more of it! Can you pick out projects which take full advantage of the areas where you’re extraordinarily talented?

Practice owning your wins and gracefully accepting those compliments. So many women struggle with this!

Oh and please learn to accept praise. We really must celebrate and savour the successes on our path as they accrue.

Optimistic mindset and resilient self-talk

Watch your response to failures. Mistakes are inevitable, especially when we are pushing ourselves to do exceptional things. Look for the lesson and use it to calibrate your path forward. Can you reframe things which didn’t work as experiments on the way to success? It can be uncomfortable to dwell on a mistake, but earnestly searching for the learning within it extracts more value than pushing it down. Do this. And then MOVE ON.

Notice your self-talk, remove the judgment, and label (name) emotions as though you were a disinterested observer, to help disidentify your passing feelings from your core self.

Explore ideas for improvement from a place of curiosity. What’s the lowest resolution framework required to understand the error?

If a presentation didn’t go well, what can I improve for next time? Do I need to sharpen my presentation skills, do more research or set aside time to practice?

Looking at specifics, rather than internalising the failure as a judgment on our whole being, is much less psychologically damaging.

After you’ve done your analysis, a ‘letting go’ ritual can help you to bounce back more quickly.

Visualisations and scenario planning

If you’re expecting a situation to be particularly challenging, or you expect it might trigger a bit of the old fight or flight response, then preparation is everything.

Centre yourself or even use affirmations (or a big stretch and take up some space!) ahead of time to get into an open energy mentality. Visualise success and work through what that looks like step by step; practice what you’re going to say – out loud and in front of a mirror or another person if necessary! (I have often written out scripts ahead of difficult conversations). Walk yourself through the way things might go, know the outcome you want, anticipate what could go wrong, and then think through your best reactions and what behaviours you will choose if the worst happens. This is the unglamorous behind-the-scenes stuff for more leaders than you would imagine.

What’s the best piece of advice you have been given to get over self-doubt about your capabilities – or the feeling that you don’t deserve your success? What else can you think of?

Be patient. Forgive yourself.

You CAN turn down the volume on Imposter syndrome.